“Not Right Gin”
You wake up with a screaming hangover in a seedy hotel room. The VIP party you were invited to resulted in a lost wallet, pounding headache, and wet trousers.
You’re out to sea, the boat stops, you yell “LAND HO” but the only Ho you get is the storm brewing in your belly. And this tempest is about to get out.
Visual
The bottle rocks out eye appealing design of a Supermodel on a highway billboard. It looks great, there’s beautiful contrast. Top end, fully featured style, that is just pleasant to look at. Everything down to the different textures of the label going across the logo.
But as the old joke goes, “Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup” Musca domestica Linnaeus is spotted on the bottom right, reminds me of Land Ho’s and sea sick experiences.
Aroma
Reminds me of washing my face in a dirty gas station with streaks on the mirror, and smelling urinal cakes from the toilet.
When this is your only option, you’re better off drinking mouthwash. Like a club girl wearing overbearing cheap perfume, you are violated before you even get to make the first move. Pounding headaches forming, you’ve got to escape this disaster.
Entery
You’re greeted with a simple try to get you to like it, but there’s something chemically enhanced in this, like poison ivy’s special blend from batman. It’s overpowering sweetness in the beginning makes me question it’s true motives. The Headache is intensifying
Midpalate
Bland like licking an envelope, there’s no depth here, just a black hole abyss. Danger Will Robinson, you’re spidey senses tingling. There’s too much citrus to make any sense of this. The maximum sweetness is like an artificial flavor that will give you cluster headaches. My headache is turning volatile.
Aftertaste
Welcome to the Migraine. Envelop taste still lingers, and I grasp for the water. i pour the rest of the gin back into the bottle, because it was too intense to stand much longer.
Final Thought: If you want to experience a wrong way to do thing’s look no further than Right Gin. There is a right way to do things, and unfortunately Right Gin isn’t it.
Pros
- It’s over
- Never have to do this again
- We learned our lesson
- Once is enough
- Time to Move on
Cons
- Wrong Time, Wrong Place
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